My colleague, Gail Schumann, LCSW-C, and I recently held a Hold Me Tight Workshop which is based on Sue Johnson’s book, Hold Me Tight. It was an amazing experience and wonderful for the 3 couples that came. They learned about the new science of love which shows that all humans crave and need connection to others in order to survive. The connection of a loved one is the most important and sustaining one of all, except when things are going wrong. When we feel disconnected, we get scared, feel alone and feel abandoned. This leads to reactions that can turn negative and create a pattern of trying to get our needs met that aren’t productive or healthy, such as withdrawing, criticizing, attacking or giving up. The HMT workshops help couples have important conversations to understand their negative pattern and change it.